First of all, please let me express my heartfelt gratitude to every single one of you that continues to text, call, email, and carrier pigeon words of encouragement, thoughts and prayers, and even jokes (ESPECIALLY the jokes!) I couldn’t do this without my badass tribe!! There are so many of you that I don’t want to single anyone out, but I do have to give a special shout out to my dad (aka Daddio) – with me for every single lab, dr visit and so far 8 rounds of 7+ hours of chemo infusions. It takes a special kind of person to sit through this crap, and not only does he do it without complaining, but he packs me a lunch and snacks, and offers conversation and companionship when I’m stuck in a chair getting poisoned. (Dawni, I know it’s you that packs the food, and I love you 😉 ) Another shout out to my children. Constantly making me tea, fetching items that are 3 feet away from me I’m too exhausted to grab myself, and cleaning…so much cleaning! Plus they’re hilarious and dance and sing for me to put a smile on my face 😀
My brother Fred – constantly checking in on me, offering advice, taking my kids hunting, and his general shit talking that cracks me up, even if he’s an amateur – keep trying bro….
And lastly, to my boyfriend Greg. Your humor, wit, research and love are more than I could ever dream of, let alone ask for or deserve. I love you.
Chemo blows. News bulletin, I’m sure 😉 They’ve added in a new drug called Irinotecan that’s much more aggressive, and so far the only thing I’ve noticed in the side effect range is being much more fatigued. And when I say fatigued, I get dizzy to the point of almost passing out just trying to do everyday stuff like sweeping, doing laundry, etc. My hair has thinned dramatically and I pretty much wear a hat 24/7 now because I look like Doc from Back to the Future – just wild strands of hair everywhere… they started me out at 50% strength but next week we’re gonna up the ante and go full bore since I tolerated it so well. They’ve lowered the 5-FU drug because it caused such bad chemo guts it landed me in the hospital – not sure if they’re going to up this one as well but man, I hope not!
I did post my most recent CT on Facebook – basically everything is somewhat the same, but some tumors have shrunk a few millimeters, and no new metastases! Not the dramatic and profound results I wanted, but still great news – we knew this was going to be a long haul, which has been an exercise in frustration as you all know I’m not the most patient of women….
My daily activities are pretty much sleeping, sitting and crocheting while watching Life Below Zero, and harassing my poor dog 😀 I’m not able to get out as much as I was since I get so drowsy, driving is not always safe.
I’ve had so many people reach out and ask how they can continue to help – and while it’s embarrassing for me to continue to ask for help, I’m not a martyr and I know I can’t do this without continued support :/ raising two youngins and keeping a roof over our heads is expensive and the money goes so quick. I’ve never not worked – I’ve held down a job and a career since I was 14, so this has been a humbling experience, which is putting it mildly. An issue I’m running into is I have to report any donations through GoFundMe for state help, including Social Security Disability, EBT Snap, etc. and they lower what I get. It’s not right, but I don’t make the rules.
With some help, I have created a work-around. Several people have asked me to make an Amazon wish list for my normal household item needs that EBT doesn’t cover. It ranges from shampoo, to dog food, to laundry detergent. Any item you choose will ship directly to me and will help immensely!
Here’s the link: https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/1KXWZPS9HBMZ7?ref_=wl_share
Some things that are especially essential on that list – the very first 4 items – Bananatrol (it’s the only thing that combats chemo’s god awful bubble guts issue), the Ivermectin, and the two SourSop items. These are first line anti-cancer items that I consume daily and are essential to me beating this crap. One tube of Ivermectin lasts me 1 week, to give you an idea of how much I go through.
In addition to the wish list, my other ask is continued help with the house. I literally will pass out trying to do basic cleaning – my 10 and 12 year old do great helping with chores literally every day, but they don’t do the deep stuff that older kids and adults do, and they get overwhelmed sometimes with the amount of things I’m asking from them. As a result, my house is a disorganized, messy cluster 🙁 Having someone come out once a week would be a God-send.
It goes without saying that cash donations are still amazing and absolutely welcomed, I just know that many many people prefer a more direct way to help – hopefully this all comes off as intended, not me being a choosey beggar 😉
Enjoy the update photos – included some of the animals that bring me so much joy and light, especially on my bad days. I don’t have them too often, but they’re a doozy sometimes. KEEP MESSAGING, TEXTING, MAILING, CALLING, ETC!
I love and appreciate you all, more than you can ever know, more than I could possibly ever repay. Thank you!